Eric Joyce

Well, Mr Joyce has been duly punished for sticking the head into some fellow MPs. The man obviously has some problems - some unkind soul said being a Labour MP for starters - and this boiled up to the point that he got over emotional and went looking for a shoulder to cry on. Problem was, in his emotional state his knowledge of the human anatomy was slightly incorrect, misplacing the aforementioned shoulder by about six inches.

He's got a whopping fine of £3,000 - which to him represents approximately sixteen minutes of expenses or three nights out on the town (have you seen the bar prices in London?).

He's also to pay £1,400 in expenses (calculator at the ready, that's 7 minutes and 24 seconds of expenses) to his victims and has to observe a curfew from Friday to Sunday - possibly at home with a seventeen year old woman bottle of wine. He did mention having had "three or four glasses". Sounds like a useful euphemism to me.

Since he will not be standing at the next general election - unsurprising since he appears to have difficulty standing these days - rumour has it that he will be assisting the Scottish Government in rolling out alcohol education following the implementation of minimum pricing. It seems that a certain F  McAvenie has been in contact after some advice as well.......or perhaps a mobile number.......

Wino (or is it Fino?)