The world of retail was shocked today as a terrorist attack was narrowly prevented by the actions of a brave security guard.
The guard, now moved to a secret location (insiders say the Atlantic Ocean) received a tip-off that a man armed with a mobile phone and a four year old girl, was about to take an electronic image of the shopping centre, msot likely as a reconnaissance for a major attack.
The target was believed to be an ice-cream parlour, and pictures obtained from the perpetrator shows shocking images of a young girl eating ice-cream. Social services and the Scottish Branch of the Jamie Oliver Healthy Eating Special Investigation Brigade were alerted.
Two members, believed to be from the Police, interviewed the perpetrator and have considered charging him with terrorism, illegal photography and giving a child sweets before teatime.
Thankfully, the matter was dealt with speedily and we can all rest peacefully in our beds.
Until the next time............
Keep calm and carry on........