Monday Wafflings

Well, Big Dave won tonight, swatting away the bad boys attempt to tell him what to do. Now we can't be having that now, can we? Not in our "Big Society" where the People Have Power. Dave doesn't want a referendum on Europe right now, as that will cause "uncertainty". Ahem, this is the same person who wants the Scottish Government to hold their referendum now as any delay will cause "uncertainty".


Meanwhile, Edinburgh City Council has demanded that housing repair bills must be paid, despite over five hundred cases in dispute. For those who don't know, Edinburgh is the only city in the UK where the council can organise repair work on private properties when the owners of shared buildings cannot reach agreement. The value of these bills has more than trebled in five years. Must be using the same contractors who are doing the trams.


The Chandlers, the couple who were kidnapped from their yacht by the Pirates of the Caribbean Somalia, have criticised the rescue effort. As a result, they have been given back with instructions to the pirates that they walk the plank. In a similar case, Tiddles, a persian cat, has complained of unacceptable delays in the Fire Service rescuing her from the top of a fifty foot elm tree.


Finally, doctors have recommended that people should avoid drinking for at least three days per week. That should be easy enough to achieve, just get bladdered the night before and you will sleep through the day anyway.